Fighting about money at church

Churches everywhere are 100% comprised of humans, which gets messy. When I asked a friend if my book about church and money should have conflict, she asked me, “do you want anyone under 40 to read the book?” A shiny, polished view of the church won’t ring true.

I took a course - Understanding Conflict Foundations, offered through Conrad Grebel University College. Betty Pries explained that artificial harmony - pretending that there is no conflict - often hides mean-spirited personal attacks. Once these surface, it can get ugly quickly.

There are churches that will go to their graves without talking about money. They are scared of conflict, or scared of admitting the conflict that already exists.

Silence and secrecy around money give money more power than it deserves.

How can a church start talking about money?

Gratitude. It’s where I start in a Generosity Assessment with a congregation. What are people thankful for about their church?

Gratitude opens the door to difficult conversations. Being grateful reminds us, individually and as a congregation, that God continues to walk with us through good times and hard times. We are grateful in all circumstances, not for all circumstances (1 Thess 5:18). Centering the conversation on God rather than on people makes it so much easier, and is better theology too.

In the midst of challenging circumstances, a church can talk about money. Change is possible. Conflicts can generate creativity. I’ve witnessed it and it’s a holy moment. Thanks be to God.